The Department of Mines and Minerals reported in a highly classified memo that glitter mines are running at historic lows. The memo states that demand is so great that the mines are unable to mine enough of the sparkly glitter that so many girls depend on to accent their fashion. Some also believe that they are dangerously close to depleting all known glitter deposits. KoookaBoooka believes that a future without glitter is unacceptable. We encourage the White House to act swiftly in this matter. If we can put a man on the moon and sell “fresh and ready pizzas” for five dollars at every strip mall in the country, surely we can tackle the glitter problem too!