KoookaBoooka

WATCH YOUR STEP!

Sun, 19 May 2013 20:08:00 -0400

As summer approaches, KoookaBoooka is reminding its loyal fans to be careful. Very careful. The chances of you breaking a bone during the weeks leading up to summer vacation are increased by 547.3 percent. So please, watch out for those pesky banana peels. Save the skateboard trick for the X-Games. Stay safe. And,enjoy the best cast free summer of your life!

SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE #3455

Thu, 16 May 2013 21:30:29 -0400

If you turn over flash cards, you will see the answer! Try it! It’s true! Your teachers may not be aware of this fact. Feel free to share it them the next you are playing “Around the World” in class. Be prepared to dazzle your friends!

BEST MOTHER'S DAY GIFT EVER!

Sun, 12 May 2013 18:47:00 -0400

What mom would not want Gizmo in a red convertible? We asked fans to send in pictures of gifts for their moms. We can only imagine the surprise and joy mom felt when she saw the grinning Gizmo! Well played!

PICNIC TIME!

Thu, 09 May 2013 21:20:08 -0400

Reports of giant ants are surfacing again. This picture was taken last week outside of Albany, NY. The government claims that it is an optical illusion, like how the moon seems larger when it is closer to the horizon. KoookaBoooka is not so sure, yet offers this advice if one encounters an ant such as this: Give it the chip!

ROOT ROOT ROOT FOR THE JEDI!

Sun, 05 May 2013 20:37:00 -0400

Has Star Wars replaced baseball as our national pastime? From the looks of t-ball teams everywhere, the answer just might be yes. KoookaBoooka spotted this Jedi/All-Star outside of Columbus, Ohio. Keep your eye on the Death Star and swing for the fences!

THE LOST ART!

Thu, 02 May 2013 20:06:50 -0400

There was a time, not that long ago, when kids instinctively knew that fresh wet cement was somewhere on the block. As soon as the adults would leave, kids would grab a stick or use a finger and leave their mark for all eternity, or least a few years. It was the “touchpad” of their time. The subject matter consisted of initials or names, often in cursive (another lost art). KoookaBoooka believes that this critical part of our past should not go gently into the night. Kids, please try and limit your surfing to only KoookaBoooka and get out there and have some fun!

LAUNDRY MOUNTAIN SUMMIT WITHIN REACH!

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 19:44:16 -0400

Local mom is almost to the top of laundry mountain. It was three weeks in the making. Due to various demands, such as: running the school book fair, PTA meetings, packing lunches, finding husband’s lucky baseball hat, grocery shopping, cooking meals, helping with science fair projects, numerous sports practices and games, birthday party planning for the twins, dance rehearsals and recital, preschool board meeting and fundraiser, designing costumes for the school play and a million other things, the laundry has not been done on 1675 Copper Lane Drive.To say it piled up, would be an understatement. Armed with two days of supplies, Anna Schwartz set off early Saturday morning with hopes of summiting by Monday evening. She will then plant a flag made out of Bounce fabric softener and begin separating the whites and colors. KoookaBoooka is proud to sponsor Anna on her historic quest. We will donate one sample size box of Tide to help her get started.

RECORDS ARE MADE TO BE BROKEN!

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 19:52:32 -0400

Google Maps states that the trip from 1356 Weston Road to Saint Pat’s Church is 4.3 miles and believes the trip should take 12 minutes. Brian Porenllo, father of four, bested his personal best on last Sunday’s trip to church. Driving a 2001 Chrysler minivan, Brian managed to complete the journey in 53 minutes and 19 seconds. Brian released a statement to KoookaBoooka. “The roads I normally take are filled with potholes this time of year. I did not want to risk damaging the van. I also thought I heard a strange noise from under the hood so I really did not want to press it. I kept it at about 4 to 5 miles per hour. I mean, when I’m with my family, it’s safety first. So, we made it safe and sound and we only missed the first 45 minutes of church.” KoookaBoooka supports dads everywhere and their quest for safety!

THEY CAN WAIT!

Sun, 21 Apr 2013 20:34:00 -0400

Chores that is…Lawn mowing season is upon us. Pushing an old mower bought years before you were even born is no fun and yes, it should be avoided at all costs. Sure you can hope that there is no gas but why risk it? KoookaBoooka recommends taking the boot off the spark plug. This will buy you valuable time so you can get on with your day. If your mom decides to investigate repeat these words, “Mom that guy from Grey’s Anatomy is on TV.” She will run back in the house and more than likely start cleaning up a mess somewhere and will forget about the mower. Remember KoookaBoooka cares!

YOU DESERVE IT!

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 18:14:00 -0400

Now is the time to get into a great lease on the vehicle of your choice! Big Wheels! Krazy Kars! F1 Clones! You name it. We got it. Plastic Fantastic Motors is open 10:00 a.m.-5:00 p.m. everyday but Sunday. Lease rates start at just $9.00 a month. KoookaBoooka’s company Krazy Kar has spent too much time in the shop. We are looking to upgrade and believe you should too!

FLEAS BE GONE!

Sun, 14 Apr 2013 19:58:29 -0400

Hello Kitty! KoookaBoooka has just learned that Miss Kitty is now flea free. She spent two nights at the Animal Ark Pet Hospital outside of Chicago. She tweeted, “happy 2 stop itching xo to my fans HK”. This ends speculation that she has dropped out of the public eye due to the rumor that she was going to dye her fur black or that she had suffered a breakdown of some sort.

THE TIME IS NOW!

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 20:19:00 -0400

Summer is just around the corner. Ice cream trucks will soon be cruising your neighborhood. That sweet, sweet music will fill the air and Push-Ups and Bomb Pops will fill your tummy. If you are first in line, that is. Being in the back of the line could mean an extra large helping of, “Sorry. Sold out.” Start your training now. Study the screen door to see how quickly you can open it. Look for uneven spots in the lawn which can lead to sprained ankles or worse. Make sure your dollar is stashed in a spot that you can easily access while you run out of your house. This concludes another public service announcement from your friends at KoookaBoooka.

SPRING HAS SPRUNG!

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 20:13:00 -0400

As the last flakes of snow melt away, certain trees in front yards are blessed with a rare spring phenomenon. For unknown reasons the trees bloom only during the night. These blossoms only last a few days and then they disappear. A true miracle of nature, if there ever was one.

OREOS OR ELSE!

Thu, 04 Apr 2013 17:34:46 -0400

Mice around the country have had it with the gluten free craze sweeping the nation. We caught up with a two year old mouse named Larry Fields III who has been living with his family in a nice home outside of Chicago. The Fields family has lived there for 26 generations. “Here’s the deal,” explained Larry, “we use to eat through the box to get to the food. Now we are better off eating the box. Where are the sweet, sweet Oreos and Rold Gold Pretzels? If this is not stopped soon we will start picking strategic times to come out and visit, like when you are having an open house or your boss is over for dinner.” KoookaBoooka believes that the mice do have some valid points, but blackmailing the host family is never a good idea. Faithful fans, rest assured we will follow all developments, as always.

HAPPY EASTER!

Sat, 30 Mar 2013 16:44:54 -0400

CAN IT BE TEN YEARS?

Thu, 28 Mar 2013 19:59:00 -0400

It was ten years ago to the day that Cap’n Crunch and his twin brother, Sergeant Soggy, fought while backstage at the Nickelodeon’s Kids’ Choice Awards Show. Soggy dropped out of the public eye and has not been seen since. KoookaBoooka believes that Soggy must break his silence. The time is now.

MIRACLE IN ROOM 111!

Sun, 24 Mar 2013 20:48:13 -0400

Kindergardeners in room 111 returned from their spring break and witnessed what can only be called a miracle. Mr.Sparkles, the beloved class pet guinea pig, drastically changed his appearance over the span of a week. Theo Thompson alerted KoookaBoooka. “When we left, he seemed pretty tired. He had been sleeping a lot. But when we came back, Mr.Sparkles had changed and he had lots of energy!” KoookaBoooka wishes Mr.Sparkles and his new makeover, only the best!

WHO NEEDS DAD?!!

Thu, 21 Mar 2013 18:55:00 -0400

Pinewood Derby season is upon us. While many fathers spend countless hours and money perfecting their son’s derby car, KoookaBoooka takes its toupee off to Brian Young of Bloomington, Indiana. Brian worked on his sweet ride all by himself. That’s right. No top secret NASA plans. No expensive wind tunnel testing. Nothing but good old fashion American know how! Keep up the great work Brian!

GLITTER MINES RUNNING LOW!

Sun, 17 Mar 2013 18:50:00 -0400

The Department of Mines and Minerals reported in a highly classified memo that glitter mines are running at historic lows. The memo states that demand is so great that the mines are unable to mine enough of the sparkly glitter that so many girls depend on to accent their fashion. Some also believe that they are dangerously close to depleting all known glitter deposits. KoookaBoooka believes that a future without glitter is unacceptable. We encourage the White House to act swiftly in this matter. If we can put a man on the moon and sell “fresh and ready pizzas” for five dollars at every strip mall in the country, surely we can tackle the glitter problem too!

MOM COMES CLEAN! "IT WAS ME! I HAVE A PROBLEM!"

Thu, 14 Mar 2013 19:03:30 -0400

KoookaBoooka presents a public service announcement. Girl Scout Cookie boxes are being delivered to thousands of households across the nation. We have heard from many of our fans that their moms have eaten all the cookies and are then replacing them with poor imitations, such as those shown in the picture sent to us by Carla Pearson of Long Island, NY. Her mom did confess and has since ordered ten more boxes for the family.